The premise of the show is that every single person in the world blacks out at exactly the same time, and dreams of the future. They all have a vision of exactly what they will be doing in six months time. A scrappy team of FBI agents try to work out what has happened. Sounds like a pretty cool premise!
Well it's not. It's stupid.
What people see in their flashforward is weird. If the entire planet blacked out, and saw April 29th 2010 – what do you think that day might be like? The whole world has been looking forward to this day to find out what is going to happen, you think people might be, I dunno, sat round their TV sets, or having a party.
How did the world react to the moment when an arbitrary calendar flicked from 1999 to 2000? Everyone lost their shit, got drunk, worried the world would end and set off a shitload of fireworks.
Prince was unavailable for comment
So what are people doing on this momentous day? Olivia is in bed. Mark decides to work late. One guy decides this is a good opportunity to drown someone. Stanford is taking a dump for fucks sake! The most important 3 minutes in the whole of human history, and you decide it would be a good time to lay some cable?
Pictured: The most important moment in human history
Know what I would be doing on April 29th 2010? I’d be standing in front of a wall, with the results of the major sporting events of the last 6 months. Then I’d make some real money.But think about it on a wider scale. What would happen if every single person in the world saw their future? There would be chaos, the whole world would collectively lose its shit. 20 million people died apparently. Compare that with the 3,000 on 9/11 and the Flashforward world seems to treat it like a minor bit of constipation. The only people who seem to give a shit are these four or five FBI agents. No Chinese, British, Russian or even French authorities seem to think its worth the time investigation a group who just killed the entire population of Australia.
Everyone carries on as normal, with the blackout being relegated to an interesting night on the TV. You mention it, but haven’t really thought about what it might mean. Yeah – it might point towards the possibility of a God, destiny and the meaning of life, but the chick in my flashforward was really hot.
And the FBI suck.
Janis receives an enhanced picture of suspect zero, and they notice he is wearing a ring. Stanford asks if they can enhance his hand so they can see the ring. Janis confirms this. What Stanford doesn’t ask is if they can enhance his face so they can see who he is, or why they didn’t enhance the picture all the way in the first place.
"No! Don't worry about his face, name badge, or passport - zoom in on his socks.."
Benford wants to use a civilian as bait to catch a hitman. It is a risky plan, but they decide to go with it. So where would be the safest place? Well a large spacious warehouse of course. Full of birds for some reason. At night. Protected by an agent who was shot a week before and an agent we know for a fact gets shot at some point.
But they do catch the hitman. Which is good, because Mark saw someone with a 3 star tattoo in his flashforward, and if they have killed this guy, it can’t be possible that anyone else in the world would have a similar tattoo. Except of course the 50 guys with the same tattoo we see 2 minutes later.
This tattoo, you could safely assume, is unique
One of the leads they are working on comes from the fact that they track the population of crows in Somalia. When a show asks me to give a shit about the population of crows in Somalia, I know I’m not going to miss it.
Flashforward sucks.
UPDATE - Guy buys http://www.2min17sec.com/ domain name and expects to make fortune. Fails.
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